Many spouses are suffering today in loveless and sexless marriages, or being manipulated and abused by a spouse that is withholding various forms of intimacy in an attempt to punish or control their spouse.  All forms of withholding erode trust and destroy the relationship whether it be the silent treatment, refusing physical affection, depriving of sexual needs, spending no time together, or others.  Withholding is not built on the foundation of a godly, selfless, giving, sacrificial, and mature love.

I recently heard a sermon on 1 Corinthians 7, and in that sermon the following two points made zero sense to me:

1) Since verse 3 comes first, nothing else that follows matters if that prerequisite is not met.
2) The powers in verse 4 negate each other.

The word singled out as the prerequisite in the verse 3 was “benevolence” which is Eunoia in Greek and is defined as “good will, kindness”. The pastor was claiming if a spouse felt the other was being unkind, then verses 4 and 5 had no application in that situation.

The word before “benevolence” is “due” which is Opheilo in Greek and is defined as “to owe, to owe money, be in debt for, that which is due, the debt”.  Do people get married just so someone will be kind to them?  Is that what is owed them, kindness?

Below are 37 translations of verse 3.  Absolutely no translation includes the idea that if a spouse feels the other is “not kind” then they are free to be “not kind” in return.  Not a Christlike idea to be sure.  Not an idea that follows the Golden Rule.  The opposite of the Sermon on the Mount.

What the translations do include are concepts like conjugal rights, satisfying each others sexual needs, giving what is due, fulfilling marital duty, giving affection owed, fulfilling a debt, and fulfilling an obligation, but read them for yourself:

(JUB) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(KJV) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(KJVA) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(TMB) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(TMBA) Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(TYN) Let the man geve vnto the wyfe due benevolence. Lykwyse also the wyfe vnto the man.
(WBT) Let the husband render to the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife to the husband.
(YLT) to the wife let the husband the due benevolence render, and in like manner also the wife to the husband;

(ESV) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(NRS) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(NRSA) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(RSV) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.
(RSVA) The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.

(CEB) The husband should meet his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should do the same for her husband.
(CEBA) The husband should meet his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should do the same for her husband.
(NIRV) A husband should satisfy his wife’s sexual needs. And a wife should satisfy her husband’s sexual needs.
(NLT) The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs.
(GW) Husbands and wives should satisfy each other’s [sexual] needs.
(MSG) The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality – the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.

(ASV) Let the husband render unto the wife her due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
(DBY) Let the husband render her due to the wife, and in like manner the wife to the husband.
(WNT) Let a man pay his wife her due, and let a woman also pay her husband his.(RHE) Let the husband render the debt to his wife: and the wife also in like manner to the husband.
(WYC) The husband yield debt to the wife, and also the wife to the husband.
(NCV) The husband should give his wife all that he owes her as his wife. And the wife should give her husband all that she owes him as her husband.
(OJB) Let the ba’al render the conjugal choiv (debt) to his isha, and likewise also the isha to her ba’al (husband).

(NAS) The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
(GNT) A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.
(GNTA) A man should fulfill his duty as a husband, and a woman should fulfill her duty as a wife, and each should satisfy the other’s needs.
(CSB) A husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.
(NIV) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

(HNV) Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
(WEB) Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
(NKJV) Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.

(BBE) Let the husband give to the wife what is right; and let the wife do the same to the husband.
(LEB) The husband must fulfill his obligation to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
(CJB) The husband should give his wife what she is entitled to in the marriage relationship, and the wife should do the same for her husband.

There are people that would twist verse 4 to support taking sex by physical force or coercion, but verse 3 is clear the responsibility is for the spouse to give, the idea that it is okay to take if they do not give is not in there.

John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible has some interesting comments about verse 3, including declaring “due benevolence” a euphemism.

My Power is Bigger Than Your Power!

In the sermon it was also claimed that the second part of verse 4 had the power to negate the first part or vice versa.  I first read the nonsense “If her husband’s body belongs to her, then she has the ability to also say, ‘I do not want you using your body sexually right now with me.’” on the Love Honor and Vacuum (mocking Love Honor and Obey) blog years ago.  Below was my comment at the time:

I am surprised you were able to take this Scripture which seems so obviously pro-sex and turn it completely around so people could use it contra-sex. I see at least three problems with your interpretation:

1) You said “If her husband’s body belongs to her, then she has the ability to also say, ‘I do not want you using your body sexually right now with me.'” which seems completely taken out of context.  The power over a spouse’s body is for sexual relations, not anything a spouse might want or nothing as your statement claims.  Even if your assertion were correct, if the wife’s body belongs to him, then he has the ability to also say “I want you using your body sexually right now with me.” which ends up in the ludicrous situation where they are still having sex, but the husband just has to lay there and do nothing while the wife who did not want it in the first place has to do all the work.  The power is pro-sex and should be used to request anything sexual or loving that is not prohibited (i.e. not sodomy, orgies, etc), even communication could be a request that a spouse should lovingly try to fulfill.

2) While 16 of the 25 translations at BibleHub do use “deprive” the other 9 translations use the word “defraud” which seems a much better word choice given the context.  Deprive the way you use it is very subjective, and who gets to decide what exactly deprived is anyway, the person feeling deprived or the person depriving?  Yes, even withholding sex one night could be considered depriving the other person of sex for that night which will never come again.  Certainly does not sound like “power”.  Deprive in Webster’s 1828 is “applicable to a lawful or unlawful taking”, while defraud is “withhold wrongfully from another what is due to him”.  The word in Greek is Apostereo which is defined as “to defraud, rob, despoil” and the word origin “from (575) and stereo (to deprive)” is interesting because they already had another word for “deprive”.  Defraud is a much better translation which keeps the power in the spouses domain.

3) You completely ignore the injunction in verse 5 that in order to deprive or defraud a spouse is to get consent.  Getting consent perfectly fits the context of both rendering due benevolence and the spouse having power of the others body.  I like how you teach that sex should be mutually pleasing to both partners, and I can appreciate the wisdom of the Bible that abstaining from sex should also be mutual.  The directions God gives us are for our own good “to avoid fornication” and that “Satan tempt you not”.

P.S. On a side note, some will desire to misapply verse 6 to all the directives above it in order to get rid of them, but it more appropriately goes with the context in verses 7 and 1 where Paul is expressing his opinion/wish/desire. Humans are amazing rationalization machines when it comes to maintaining their bias/worldview in the face of cognitive dissonance.

Might be an easy way to lose weight if our spouses could just tell our bodies to “do a thousand jumping jacks a day” or “eat only celery” and we would be obliged to obey!  Claiming the powers negate each other in effect returns to the spouse power over their own body, which is the exact opposite of what the Bible plainly says, and yet another case of “Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition”. Sadly it is a modern tradition that encourages strife and divorce compared to the rest of history and the majority of the world’s population that still recognizes the conjugal right to sexual and other forms of love.

The pastor did bring up some good points in his sermon including some on domestic violence.  The Bible is clear that no one should physically force or harm or coerce another person for their own personal gain.  In a perfect marriage physically forcing your spouse would not even be possible because a spouse acting in a loving and godly manner would never withhold without consent.  A loving spouse gives love freely.  A godly spouse will be obedient to God knowing their body is His first and foremost.  A spouse not fulfilling their marital duties is neither being kind nor following God’s ways.  Stronger censure from pulpits would help deter such behavior, but it is a rare voice that is brave enough to speak such unpopular truths in this culture.  Of course should a spouse actually physically force, harm, or coerce no matter the reason then the condemnation is theirs for that action.  One unloving act does not justify another.

Letter I dropped in the mail…

5/18/2019

Bible Advocate Press
P.O. Box 3367
Denver, CO 80233

Dear Bible Advocate,

I am writing regarding your April 2019 publication titled “All Authority”, specifically the article titled “The Humble Leadership of Christ” and its claim that Ephesians 5 teaches “mutual submission”.

It is disappointing you are now advocating man’s new opinions instead of the Bible. It is clearly a new opinion since “Love, Honor, and Obey” has only recently been removed from wedding vows. This new opinion borders on “speaking evil of what God has said” or as Titus 2:5 labels it: blaspheming the word of God. What God has said from the beginning is that husbands will rule over their wives.

Mutual submission at face value sounds like a very Christian thing to do. Combine it with phrases like yielding to others, loving and serving them, preferring them above yourself and it helps the concept seem very Christlike, and indeed those phrases are. Unfortunately those phrases are not the definition of the underlying Greek word Hupotasso. God’s words have meaning, and mutual submission is a distortion of the meaning the Word has clearly and repeatedly communicated.

Even in modern dictionaries submission is defined as “the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person”. Webster’s 1828 adds “Obedience; compliance with the commands or laws of a superior.” A lexicon for the underlying Greek word Hupotasso says it is “to arrange under, to subordinate; to subject, put in subjection; to subject one’s self, obey; to submit to one’s control; to yield to one’s admonition or advice; to obey, be subject.” Bible translators used phrases such as “be subject, be in subjection, submit, obey, be obedient, be in obedience”, and “put under”.

Despite all their sincerity and enthusiasm theology students still end up denying what the whole of Scripture plainly teaches when they emphasize how verses 21 and 22 in Ephesians 5 share the verb Hupotasso in the original text and try to find obscure meaning in that fact. Unfortunately they miss the obvious point that sharing a verb does not change the meaning at all. “People, obey the government, and servants your masters” means just the same thing as if there were two verbs.

Other valid translation choices for submission such as “mutual obedience” or “mutual subjection” make it obvious that such a concept is illogical and impossible. Can a citizen obey the police and the police obey the citizen? Can a king be subject to his subjects? Obfuscating the meaning of submission warps the text so it seems to say something different than what the Writer intended.

If mutual obedience were meant to be taken as doctrine then Paul surely would not minimize it with only five words, even sharing the main verb with the following verse. Surely he would expound on it and include it in one of the various examples he gave. Perhaps it is a difficult phrase to translate. 1 Peter 5:5 has the same phrase “all of you be subject one to another” tagged onto the directive to obey elders, but that phrase only appears in the KJV and derivatives; no other translation has it. And it is the very same Greek word “Allelon” in both verses that apparently gives the translators trouble, “Allelon” being most often translated “one another” but sometimes “themselves” or “yourselves”. Perhaps the verse should have simply read something like “Y’all wives…”

Or perhaps Paul intended “Submitting yourselves one to another” to be a preface to the three examples of authorities established by God that he was going to write about next. He first says for wives to obey, then gives some instructions for husbands. He next says for children to obey, then gives instructions to fathers. Lastly he says for servants to obey, then gives instructions for masters. Absent the preface in Colossians 3-4 he follows the same exact pattern with wives obey, husbands love, children obey, fathers provoke not, servants obey, and masters be just. In his epistle to Titus he lists wives being obedient to their own husbands, servants to masters, and citizens to governments. Peter in his first epistle lists citizens obeying governments, servants obeying masters, wives obeying husbands, and the younger obeying the elders.

In all these lists of various authorities, masters are never told to obey their servants, parents are never told to obey their children, government is never told to obey its citizens, husbands are never told to obey their wives, and elders are never told to obey their flocks. If mutual obedience was meant to be taken as doctrine we should find examples of the above.

Besides the lists of authorities, Paul says that wives are “commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law” in 1 Corinthians 14:34 and in a similar set of instructions in 1 Timothy 2:11 he says “with all subjection”. Other teachings supporting this authority structure are wives reverencing their husbands (1 Peter 3:2, Ephesians 5:33), headship (1 Corinthians 11:3, Ephesians 5:23), wives having a meek, quiet, and un-contentious spirit (1 Peter 3:4, Proverbs 19:13, 21:9, 21:19, 27:15), the lawful ability to override a wife’s commitments (Numbers 30:8, 12-13), and of course God declaring that wives would be ruled by their husbands in Genesis 3:16.

Where else in the bible can you find this new concept of mutual obedience? Letting the Bible interpret itself is a basic fundament to proper hermeneutics, otherwise we end up with eisegesis instead of exegesis. I believe the best understanding of “Submitting yourselves one to another” is found most clearly in Hebrews 12:17 which reads “Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.” Everyone has someone else in authority over them in the various jurisdictions that have been ordained by God.

Those that deny what God has plainly said will cite many examples of evil authorities, but examples of sinful humans should never be a reason to discard what God has given us for our good. “Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” (Romans 13:1 NIV) Of course there are the standard exception clauses that apply to any authority stepping outside of their jurisdiction and into the jurisdiction of another authority, for example disobeying a command of God (Acts 5:29).

“Mutual submission” is a man made doctrine aligned with the feminist agenda that undermines what God has said. It has encouraged strife, division, and anarchy which has resulted in countless heartaches, broken families, divorces, and fatherless homes. Rebellion is a foundational problem in marriages, churches, culture, and the whole human race.

Sincerely,

Nelson Minica

Just a bit of a topical Bible study I hope others will find useful.

For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace… 1 Cor 14:33

Verses for husbands:

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Matthew 19:5a And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife…
Mark 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
Genesis 3:17a And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it…

Genesis 3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread…
1 Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Exodus 21:10-11 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.

Leviticus 18:18 Neither shalt thou take a wife to her sister, to vex her, to uncover her nakedness, beside the other in her life time.

Deuteronomy 24:5 When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken.

Proverbs 5:15-19 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 – Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that [is] thy portion in [this] life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Malachi 2:15-16 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Matthew 5:31-32 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.
Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Mark 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.
Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:11b …and let not the husband put away his wife.
1 Corinthians 11:4,7a,14 Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered, dishonoureth his head For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Ephesians 5:25-28,31,33a Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself…

Verses for wives:

Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Genesis 3:16 Unto the woman he said…thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
1 Corinthians 14:34-35 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
Ephesians 5:22-24,33b Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Nevertheless let …the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
1 Timothy 2:11-15 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Titus 2:4,5 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
1 Peter 3:1-6 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

Numbers 30:8,12-13 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it ; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her… But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her. Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.

Proverbs 19:13b …the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.
Proverbs 21:9,19 It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
Proverbs 27:15 A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.

Proverbs 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11a And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband. But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband…
1 Corinthians 11:5-10,13,15 But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. For if the woman be not covered, let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered. …but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels. Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her: for her hair is given her for a covering.

1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Verses for both husbands and wives:

Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 9:1,7 And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the earth. And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.
Matthew 19:6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

Mark 10:9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.

1 Corinthians 7:2-5 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Summary of verses for husbands:

1. 1 – Don’t listen to wife when she is immoral (Gen 3:17).
2. 1 – Stay with wife first year of marriage and be free to spend time with her (Deut 24:5)
3. 1 – Don’t take wife’s sister as a second wife (Lev 18:18).
4. 1 – Give honor to wife and dwell with her with moral wisdom according to Christian principles (1 Pet 3:7).
5. 1 – Don’t be bitter with your wife (Col 3:19).
6. 1 – Sanctify and cleanse your wife with the Word (Eph 5:26).
7. 2 – Rejoice and live joyfully with your wife (Eccl 9:9), being satisfied with her and be ravished / intoxicated / captivated / infatuated / enraptured with her love (Prov 5:19).
8. 2 – Be the head of your wife (1 Cor 11:3, Eph 5:23) by not abdicating your authority and by respecting her position as useful and necessary (1 Cor 12:17-22) and worthy of honor (1 Cor 12:23-24,26) that there should be no schism or suffering in the body (1 Cor 12:25-26).
9. 3 – Be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1:28, 9:1,7).
10. 3 – Leave parents and cleave to wife (Gen 2:24, Matt 19:5, Mark 10:7).
11. 3 – Work for bread (Gen 3:19), provide for family (1 Tim 5:8). Give all wives basic food/clothing/sexual needs without discrimination (Ex 21:10).
12. 3 – Keep hair short and do not cover head while praying or prophesying (1 Cor 11:4,7a,14).
13. 4 – Give marital rights / duty of marriage (Ex 21:10), due benevolence / conjugal rights / satisfy sexual needs / affection owed (1 Cor 7:3), give authority /power over your body (1 Cor 7:4), do not defraud /rob except with consent (1 Cor 7:5).
14. 5 – Love your wife (Col 3:19, Eph 5:25,33) as your own body (Eph 5:28), nourish and cherish her as your own flesh (Eph 5:29).
15. 8 – Do not divorce your wife (Mal 2:16, 1 Cor 7:11, Matt 5:32, 19:6,9, Mark 10:9,11, Luke 16:18 ) except for physical abuse (Ex 21:27), abandonment (1 Cor 7:15) or uncleanness (Deut 24:1) aka fornication (Matt 5:32, 19:9) which includes adultery (Lev 20:10, Deut 22:22) and sexual defrauding (Ex 21:10, 1 Cor 7:3-5).

Summary of verses for wives:

1. 1 – Be husband’s adequate helper curing his not-good-aloneness (Gen 2:18).
2. 1 – Win without words using your conduct and character (1 Pet 3:1).
3. 1 – Love your husband (Titus 2:4).
4. 2 – Fear / reverence (1 Pet 3:2) venerate / treat with deference or reverential obedience (Eph 5:33) your husband.
5. 2 – Let your husband be your head (1 Cor 11:3, Eph 5:23) by deferring to his authority and by respecting his position as useful and necessary (1 Cor 12:17-22) and worthy of honor (1 Cor 12:23-24,26) that there should be no schism or suffering in the body (1 Cor 12:25-26).
6. 3 – Do not separate from your husband (1 Cor 7:10, Matt 19:6, Mark 10:9) except for physical abuse (Ex 21:27), neglect of basic food/clothing/sexual needs (Ex 21:10), or abandonment (1 Cor 7:15).
7. 3 – Let your husband override your vows (Num 30:8, 12-13).
8. 3 – Guide the house (1 Tim 5:14), be keepers at home (Tirus 2:5), feed your household (Prov 31:15).
9. 3 – Trust in God (1 Pet 3:5), don’t be afraid (1 Pet 3:6), have faith (1 Tim 2:15).
10. 3 – Give due benevolence / conjugal rights / satisfy sexual needs / affection owed (1 Cor 7:3), give authority / power over your body (1 Cor 7:4), do not defraud /rob except with consent (1 Cor 7:5).
11. 4 – Learn in silence in church (1 Cor 14:34-35) and do not teach men or usurp authority over them (1 Tim 2:11-12) and let your husband speak for the family.
12. 4 – Be sober (Titus 2:4), be discreet, be chaste (Titus 2:5) don’t be flashy/showy (1 Tim 2:9, 1 Pet 3:3).
13. 5 – Bear children (1 Tim 5:14, Gen 1:28, 9:1,7). Love your children (Titus 2:4).
14. 5 – Don’t be contentious (Prov 19:13, 21:9, 27:15) or angry (Prov 21:19) with your husband. Have a meek and quiet spirit (1 Pet 3:4).
15. 5 – Wear long hair or a head covering when praying or prophesying as a symbol of the authority / power you are under (1 Cor 11:5-6,10,13,15).
16. 10 – Be obedient (Titus 2:5, 1 Cor 14:34, 1 Pet 3:6), be subject to in everything (Eph 5:24), with all subjection (1 Tim 2:11) be in subjection to (1 Pet 3:1,5), submit to (Eph 5:22, Col 3:18) your husband, and be ruled over by/under dominion of (Gen 3:16) your husband except if he asks you to disobey a command of God (Acts 5:29) or a jurisdiction outside his authority (Romans 13:1, Titus 3:1, 1 Peter 2:13).

Note: the number is the count of related verses.  The font size is the number times ten.

May God bless and strengthen our families and fill them with His love and His Spirit.